One Year in England!

One year in England. When I look back, I can hardly remember the day I decided to move abroad, I do not remember that specific day when I made my decision, instead of the conscious moment of when I did it, I only remember the feeling of what made me do it, maybe because I did it all of a sudden and in pain. Sometimes your feelings can blind you, furious and make you do things without realizing what you are actually doing. The day I bought my flight to move to another country, I was not aware that, for the first time, I was taking the very first step towards a major change, not only in my life but specially in myself. A year gone, I Iook back at that Carina, who left Almada to live in one of the largest cities in the world, no longer exists, I feel that much change in me. I have always thought of myself as a determined, independent person, but today I can actually feel it, I am strong enough to own my life, to run it alone. Unlike the old Carina, this new one does not question herself, is not afraid to admit when she is wrong and that it has faults, she peacefully accepts what she is given daily and overcomes whatever obstacles may come her way in due time. The old one was in a great hurry, in a hurry to win, to speak, to be happy... this new self tho is just accepting the good and the bad days as they come. When I left my country, I truly believed that all the suffering I was going through would ease as soon as my new life began, I was then far from realizing that, better than time, awareness and acceptance of life as it comes would help me move on. For a few months, I ignored all my feelings, the fact that I had left a whole other life, the fact that the person I love went his way without me. Once I realized that months had passed and that this feeling was still in me, I gave up fighting it, and a few months later, I noticed that I was beginning to move on. Nowadays, well aware of all the faults and poor choices I have made, I am just Carina who accepts loving someone who does not love her anymore, but does not feel sad or angry about that, after all love is a good feeling. Today I feel like a woman, I am no longer that girl who left Almada ashamed, mad at the world, and I feel in peace. I am sure that the future will bring me extraordinary things and even more incredible changes, but funny enough I do not rush like I used to, I let the days go by and live in the here and now, because the past is where it belongs and the future will be what it will be. Here I am, a year later, living as a true Londoner, in a world that still has so much to offer me. Well maybe you guys were expecting me to talk about my adventures, or exciting moments in this journey. Those talks will come, but today its about me, because until now, my biggest adventure is looking at myself changing every single day, and being proud of it.